FINDING THE BIG STORY IDEA

                                                        BY

                                       KATHERINE E. TAPLEY

     It has been said that the difference between a beginning writer and the professional one is that the novice cannot come up with a story idea, whereas the pro has too many story ideas.  The most pressing question for the beginner is “What do I write about?”

     Norm Rohrer, a professional writer and author says, “If you want to be successful as a writer you will have to look at the world with new eyes, … to probe and question until you find a feature peg … an angle … a focal point around which to build your story.  So as a writer you will be fascinated to learn how much there is to know about the commonplace and how little you have observed before. … Your job as a writer is to turn ordinary subjects into extraordinary opportunities for insight and understanding.”  As a good writer you should be able to write about dirty dish water and make it an exciting story for the reader.

     When a story idea comes into your head ask your self these basic questions.

1.  How many people would be interested in this subject?

2.  Do I have access to the research required?

3.  Am I excited about the subject?

4.   Is it contemporary?

5.   Has this subject been overworked?

6.   Would an editor be afraid of controversy that this subject might stir up?

     Story ideas are lurking everywhere.  They can be found in hobbies, local history, news, seminars, TV, travel, people with special talents, conversations.  The list is endless.  When trying to select a story idea think of basic human interests.  Some of these are: relationships, food, money, pets, parenting, time management, unusual events or people, etc.

    When you have selected your story idea don’t sit down and write the article.  First, pitch the idea to an editor and see if he or she is interested.  If you get a positive response, go ahead and write it.  It is very important to sell your story idea before you put a lot of effort into it.  That way your story will not sit in the filing cabinet gathering dust.

                             FINDING THE BIG STORY IDEA

                                                        BY

                                       KATHERINE E. T APLEY

     It has been said that the difference between a beginning writer and the professional one is that the novice cannot come up with a story idea, whereas the pro has too many story ideas.  The most pressing question for the beginner is “What do I write about?”

     Norm Rohrer, a professional writer and author says, “If you want to be successful as a writer you will have to look at the world with new eyes, … to probe and question until you find a feature peg … an angle … a focal point around which to build your story.  So as a writer you will be fascinated to learn how much there is to know about the commonplace and how little you have observed before. … Your job as a writer is to turn ordinary subjects into extraordinary opportunities for insight and understanding.”  As a good writer you should be able to write about dirty dish water and make it an exciting story for the reader.

     When a story idea comes into your head ask your self these basic questions.

1.  How many people would be interested in this subject?

2.  Do I have access to the research required?

3.  Am I excited about the subject?

4.   Is it contemporary?

5.   Has this subject been overworked?

6.   Would an editor be afraid of controversy that this subject might stir up?

     Story ideas are lurking everywhere.  They can be found in hobbies, local history, news, seminars, TV, travel, people with special talents, conversations.  The list is endless.  When trying to select a story idea think of basic human interests.  Some of these are: relationships, food, money, pets, parenting, time management, unusual events or people, etc.

    When you have selected your story idea don’t sit down and write the article.  First, pitch the idea to an editor and see if he or she is interested.  If you get a positive response, go ahead and write it.  It is very important to sell your story idea before you put a lot of effort into it.  That way your story will not sit in the filing cabinet gathering dust.

–>

                                BEATING THE REJECTION SLIP BLUES

                                                              BY

                                                   KATHERINE E. TAPLEY

     Many novice writers have their writing careers abruptly ended by the rejection slip.  They take the rejection of their story personally, get discouraged and give up.  However, there are techniques for dealing with rejection slips that can help overcome the trauma of getting one in the mailbox.

     First of all realize that you are in good company when you are rejected.  In the book, Rotten Rejections: a Literary Companion, Andre Bernard lists some very famous books that got rejections slips at first.  Moby Dick by Herman Melville (1851)  got this response from the editors: ” We regret to say that our united opinion is entirely against the book as we do not think it would be at all suitable for the Juvenile Market.  It is very long, rather old-fashioned, and in our opinion not deserving of the reception which it seems to enjoy.”  Lady Chatterly’s Lover, by D. H. Lawrence (1928) evoked this comment from the editor: “For your own good do not publish this book.”  Julia Child’s book on Mastering the Art of French Cooking, which has become a classic was rejected by the editor because,” … a big, expensive, cookbook of elaborate information might well prove formidable to the American housewife.” Even stories that have become household words got rejected, so be deterred by rejection slips.

     There are usually several common reasons why your story got rejected.

Perhaps the magazine has already done the topic that you have just offered them and they don’t want to repeat themselves.  Maybe the slant that your article has just doesn’t fit the “voice” of the publication.  The periodical might have adopted a very chatty, friendly, informal style and your article is formal and distant, written in the third person instead of using “I”.  Another reason for rejection is the word count.  If your story is 2,000 words long and the editor only has space for a 500 word article then no matter how well the piece is written it won’t be accepted.  Even the presentation of the manuscript itself can have a psychological effect on the editor.  If you story has coffee stains on it, is dog eared, has many spelling mistakes, or is poorly typed the editor may be put off by this unprofessional presentation and not bother to read it.

     If you have done your best on the story and have a clean manuscript, how many times should you resubmit the manuscript before you either rewrite it or trash it.  As a rule of thumb, Bill Kinsella, a top fiction writer advises that to beat the rejection slip blues you should arm yourself with a list of at least five possible markets.   Send the story to the first one and if it comes back

rejected don’t sit there and commiserate, get it right back in the mail and send it to market number two.  Don’t even think about your hurt feelings, just keep mailing your story until you have exhausted all five markets.  If after trying all these and the manuscript is still rejected you have to seriously analyze it.  Are you choosing the wrong markets or is there a fatal flaw in your story?

     If you are a beginning writer do not aim for the really tough markets.  Readers Digest has a reputation for being one of the hardest markets to crack.  Most of their stories are either staff written or reprints from other magazines.  Generally speaking the “glossy” magazines or the higher paying markets are fussier than the lower paying magazines.  The more a magazine pays you the more they expect from you.  It will only discourage you if you pick magazines that are very demanding and more likely to send you a rejection slip.  If you have never been published before and are desperate to see your byline in print, don’t worry about big pay.  Look at the market guidelines on the Internet and watch for magazines that welcome new writers or buy a copy of Writers Digest.

     If rejection slips really prove to be the bain of your writing career you can apply one psychological technique that may help ease the pain.  Laugh at them. One writer makes place mats out of her rejection slips, encasing them in plastic so that her guests can read them before dinner.  Of course now she is quite a famous author.  Some writers who have made it to the big times are proud of their rejection slips seeing them as reminders of the struggle they had to make it to the top.

     Silver Don Cameron, one of the most famous Canadian writers likes to inspire novices by saying, “Small talent fully exercised goes further than large talent not exercised at all.”  Don’t let rejection slips ruin your writing career.  Develop a tough skin and realize that they are a normal part of the writing life.

–>

COPING WITH KITTY’S BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS

BY

KATHERINE E. TAPLEY

As a first time cat owner, I’ve had to learn a lot about cat behavior. My cat, Sir Lancelot, came from the S.P.C.A. and had lived on the streets prior to me owning him. Searching the Internet for some tips, I came to an informative site: http://www.vet.co.za/catsbeha.html, that had some good advice on cat psychology. They said, “You cannot discipline cats as you would dogs. Dogs form social hierarchies that you can take advantage of by placing yourself at the top. Cats form social groups only by necessity and the arrangement is based on respecting territory, not by respecting the ‘top dog’. Many mistakes made with cats are due to thinking that they will react like dogs.” I’ve had Sir Lancelot for a year and a half and during that time some of his bad behaviors have been: getting into plants, love bites, getting into garbage, not wanting to go on the leash, smashing glass Christmas balls on the Christmas tree, trying to run out the apartment door, jumping up on the counters and tables, and trying to suffocate

my boyfriend etc. Yes, he’s bad but I still love him. I’ve discovered that I’ve had to baby proof my apartment and learn some tips on behavior modification for cats, which I will share so you can control your cat’s nightmare behaviors.

CATS, DICIPLINE, AND DANGER

First and foremost hitting a cat is not a good idea. Your hands should be associated with affection not corporal punishment. I’ve slapped Lancelot when nothing else was available and he just went on with his bad behavior. However, cats hate to be surprised; hence a water bottle or squirt gun seems to work when nothing else does. You have to squirt the cat with water as soon as the he misbehaves. Even if you wait seconds he may not know what he is being punished for. Always keep the squirt gun at the ready.

     When I first go Sir Lancelot, I had a large Aloe Vera plant in the living room. Every morning I would rise to find that the earth had been pawed all over the carpet.   Cats are very attracted to houseplants and many plants are poison to kitty.  If the cat is chewing on the plant try spraying with Bitter Apple or Bitter Orange (made especially for plants). However, if you can’t find that dusting with cayenne pepper may help. I buy Cosmic Kitty Grass for my indoor cat so he can have some legitimate greens. For digging in the soil it is recommended to put aluminum foil or gravel in the plant’s soil. Putting Popsicle sticks or twigs around

in the soil may curb kitty from digging as well.

“Love bites” from a cat may be kind of cute, but they can lead to more serious biting that you have to go to the hospital and get a tetanus shot for. Sir Lancelot has never broken the skin, but he can nip me quite hard at times when he gets affectionate. This may sound nutty, but I read on the Internet that when a cat bites you, you should howl like a cat in pain. Although skeptical, I tried it, and believe it or not it does work. Lancelot looked at me with a very startled look and stopped biting.

One note of caution though. Don’t allow other people to tease the cat or encourage biting. Some men in particular like to rub the cat’s belly and get the bite reflex. If you are trying to discourage biting, then don’t let other people encourage your cat to bite.

Since Sir Lancelot was a cat of the streets and may have lunched out of garbage cans, I had a terrible time with him knocking them over. The only remedy was to get garbage cans with lids. Some people even have to hide the garbage cans under sinks in cupboards or weight them down with bricks. I haven’t had to go that far, because the lids worked for me.

CATS AND LEASHES

Training kitty to go on the leash will not be as easy as training your dog to walk with you. However, the leash can be a safe way to let kitty go outdoors without exposing him to hazards like getting run over by a car.  Bonnie Beaver, a veterinarian specializing in animal behavior says, “It could take a few days to perhaps a week to train a cat, depending on the personality of the cat and how often the owners try the lessons.” Some tips for training kitty to the leash are as follows: 1. For a few days, keep the harness and leash in the cat’s “toy box”, so he will associate it with fun. I have a special basket for kitty’s goodies like his brush and comb which he adores and I keep his leash and halter there. 2. Put kitty’s halter on and after a minute give him a treat. 4. Next try the leash on and heap lavish praise on him and give another treat. 5. Take kitty in your arms with his leash and harness on and introduce him to the great outdoors and give him a treat. Repeat this until he is O.K. with it. 6. Take kitty outside and lower him down. Get down to his level and speak encouragement to him. Let him direct the route at first. The main point is do not expect the cat to walk like a dog. Cats are extremely curious and they usually walk you. I find that Sir Lancelot will gallop enthusiastically up the apartment stairs, but he doesn’t like going downstairs too much. In the final analysis I think that training a cat to the leash is a battle of the wills. Cats are stubborn and you have to be persistent, however, don’t frighten puss or you’ll put the training process in reverse.

KITTY AND CHIRSTMAS

      When Sir Lancelot smashed a glass Christmas ball and had a shard of glass in His mouth I nearly had a kitty conniption. The only thing that worked was removing the balls from the bottom of the tree and keeping him away from the area with a squirt gun. Cats can develop a vocabulary of about 100 words and when my friend saw the squirt gun sitting on a table at the ready, she mentioned the object’s the name and guess what? Lancelot took off like a shot. The other bad behaviors like trying to run out the apartment door and jumping up on counters I also use the squirt gun on as well. Sometimes Lancelot gets a little forgetful and I have to repeat the training by soaking him a few times.

      Recently, when my boyfriend was sleeping on the airbed on the living room floor he awoke to find Sir Lancelot lying across his face. I could just see the tabloid headlines reading, “Cat suffocates Finance”. My friend who has 12 cats, told me that this was a blatant act of jealousy on the cat’s part. She explained that just at cats can get jealous of a baby, Sir Lancelot was jealous of Dave. Well, I really have no solution to this problem. The only thing I can say is that they’ll have to get used to each other.

     Well, I hope that you’ve learned a few pointers on cat behavior from my

experiences with a tough cat off the streets. His behavior modification is always still in progress. Some days he’s a model cat and other days he acts like the hounds of hell are after him, getting into one thing after another. Owning a cat is sort of like having a child around, only the “fur child” never grows up.

–>

 DR. PHIL: MODERN MESSIAH

By Katherine Tapley-Milton

     Dr.  Phil McGraw has become a more than a famous pop psychology spin doctor on television, he has in my opinion fashioned himself as a slick, modern messiah.  With a mix of his own version of Reality Therapy, catchy Texas witticisms, and expensive gifts from his sponsors, he has become North America’s replacement for God and spirituality.  I heard one person say the other day, “Nothing is too hard for Dr. Phil!”  Although he claims to be a Christian and believer in prayer, Dr. Phil behaves like a godlike figure to those he supposedly helps.

The Same Formula Every Time

 Generally, his daytime television show follows the same formula every time.   First, the troubled person presents the “unsolvable” problem, then Dr. Phil confronts him orher with some hard hitting advice.   All this is followed up by incredibly expensive donations from his sponsors, and after that a “light bulb” moment occurs for the afflicted person when they agree with Dr. Phil’s advice or requests.  I have been watching Dr. Phil’s show for a long time now and no one ever refuses what Dr. Phil requests.  This carefully scripted show always has the same type of person on – someone with an obvious problem who is apparently creating their own problems with foolish behavior or bad choices.  Whether it be an alcoholic, an unfaithful spouse, a person with an eating disorder, or someone who is overweight, Dr. Phil’s confrontation always “brings them around” on the show.  The person is then sent to rehab, a spa, a fancy vacation, or given a raft of material goodies   Evidently, the rank and file psychiatric survivor seems to be largely ignored by the world’s most famous counselor.

     I personally would not want to be counseled by Dr. Phil.  First of all I do not like persons who shout at me, and secondly, I have a chronic mood disorder which is genetic or biochemical.  I don’t think that Dr. Phil would want me on his show, since there is no quick fix for being schizoaffective.  Being a sensitive person I would be very upset by his bellowing and bullying.  With me he wouldn’t get a sudden “light bulb moment” or meek submission.   

A Massive Ego

     One thing that strikes me the most about this Dr. Phil is his overweening ego.  Recently, I bought two of his diet books and sincerely tried to read them to get advice on losing weight.  What offended me the most was that he has such a massive ego that fairly drips from every page.  He commented in his books that his diet was the only way to lose weight, the last diet you would ever need, etc..  The particular diet Dr. Phil was advocating was really nothing new or spectacular.  It was just your run of the mill 1200 calorie weight loss diet with a lot of pep talk and boasting about himself. 

     Dr. Phil was catapulted to fame when Oprah Winfrey started treating him as her personal guru.  Oprah angered the Texas beef ranchers by making an offhand comment that she personally was never going to eat another hamburger again.  She found herself in the middle of a lawsuit when Dr. Phil came and sat in her outer office and demanded to be seen by her.  He coached her for the court appearance and forever endeared himself to Oprah when she won the lawsuit.  Dr. Phil became a regular on the Oprah show and then this media mogul helped him launch his own show.  His loyal public has been massaging his ego ever since in a cult-like following.

Mental Health Consumer/Survivors Left Out

     Dr. Phil’s advice to people on his show is not necessarily bad.  He provides mostly good information and fun entertainment for those in TV land, however, my main concern is that people are seeing him as a messiah when he is only human and has feet of clay just like everyone else.  To place so much trust in one man is dangerous.  What if Dr. Phil dispenses the wrong advice and some troubled soul commits suicide instead of finding the appropriate help?  He also tends to offer simplistic solutions to complex problems.   Typically, on his shows he acts like Hitler when he is confronting a person with bad behavior and then turns into Santa Claus when he dispenses gifts.  He alternatively uses the tools of intimidation and bribery.   However, the biggest beef I have with Dr. Phil is that he conspicuously leaves psychiatric consumer/survivors out in the cold.  He does nothing to bring awareness to the stigma and struggle of those with long term mental illnesses. A man with his media power could do a lot to help mentally ill persons who are downtrodden in society and abused in hospitals, however, he has mostly given us a big round of indifference.  Some of his shows just concern themselves with trivial problems like a daughter who thinks that her father should not sleep under a flowered duvet or a husband who thinks that his wife’s butt is not round enough.  Although some of the Dr. Phil shows deal with serious problems, he rarely deals with the major psychiatric illnesses such as bipolar mood disorder and schizophrenia.

       Will I still watch the Dr. Phil show?  The answer is “maybe” because I like the entertainment value once in awhile.  However, a little of Dr. Phil goes a long way and I absolutely refuse to worship him as the long awaited messiah.   I think that his adoring public should take a “get real” look at the man and realize that Dr. Phil is not for everyone nor is he the answer to everybody’s problems. Don’t ditch your pastor or counselor for Hollywood’s pop psychology.  Remember, Dr. Phil isn’t God!

–>

WHEN JOB LOST HIS PATIENCE

by

Katherine E. Tapley

SCENE 1: Act 1

(Satan at the throne of God)

Satan: “Listen, God, I’ve got a little wader for you. You’re always boasting about how good a Christian that fellow Job is. I’ll bet that I can turn a good man bad and make him spit right in your face!” (sneering)

God: (just a voice coming from behind the stage) “Well Satan they don’t call you an Accuser of the Brethren for nothing. Just what devilish scheme do you have in mind now?”

Satan: “See all Job’s investments? His condo in Florida?

His mansion in Beverly Hills? Then there’s his family and his health. Let me ruin it all and see how much he loves you then. (rubs his hands together and cackles fiendishly).

God:      “Job’s faith is exemplary, you’ll never make him

curse me, never. I’ve given him trials before and he passed with flying colors.”

Satan:     “Trials? Trials? You call those petty things

trials? Let me take the gloves off and really give him something to complain about. I’ll have him cursing and swearing enough to make

a sailor blush. He’ll chuck his faith in you in no time flat. The only reason he goes to church now is because you’ve spoiled him rotten. You always protect him, he has a successful family, he’s a deacon in the church, a leader in the business community ••• Why even last week there was an article about him in Fortune 500 magazine! Is the bet on or not?

God:       “Very well, Satan, everything he has is in your

hands, but the one restriction you have is that you can’t kill Job. You’ll be sorry for this stupid wager in the end, because I’ll just bring

2

WHEN JOB LOST HIS PATIENCE

SCENE 1

greater glory to myself out of this and you’ll have egg on your face!

Satan:

“You underestimate my abilities as a torment. I never ever give up you know!

SCENE 2: Act 1

(Three out of town friends — Zophar, Bildad, and Eliphaz are having a barbeque with Job and his family. The table is set with all sorts of sumptuous foods, there is happy music, and Job’s wife is the perfect host offering everybody more food.)

Job: “Have another steak Zoey (friend named Zophar) don’t be shy, I’ve got lots more where that came from on the barbeque! (Job picks up tongs as if to take something off of the grill.) And Billy (friend named Bildad) wouldn’t you like another lamb chop? Surely, Eli (friend named Eliphaz) you could eat up the rest of the salad, couldn’t you? (Job’s wife passes the salad bowl).

Zophar: “Job if you keep feeding us like this we’ll all have to join Weight Watchers!

Bildad: “I must say, Job you must be proud that you’re son just passed his bar exam.” (chewing on a roll)

               Job:     “Yes, yes, I certainly am. God certainly has been

blessing me over the years. Praise the name of Jesus!”

Eliphaz: “Well, thanks for the great party Job, we’ll have to do it all again soon. The wife and I must be going home now.”

Bildad:

“Zoey and I have to be leaving now too or we’ll be late for the board meeting at the church. You certainly have a great location here and I love that Olympic sized swimming pool you just installed.”

SCENE 2: Act 2

(After the party Job’s wife is cleaning up and the food is being put away)

Job: “Well, that sure was a terrific party, dear.” (Squeezes his wife affectionately.)

3

WHEN JOB LOST HIS PATIENCE

SCENE 2:Act 2

Butler, Job, Wife, Maid on stage.

Job:

(showing obvious distress and dismay)

“Job, a FAX message just came from your financial advisor on Wall Street and it’s terrible

news!”

“Let me see, it right away. (looks at piece of paper) No, no, this can’t be right. It says that the Dow Jones average has fallen 200 points! That’s as bad as the 1930’s Great Depression.

All my investments have been wiped out in one fell swoop! (sinks into chair still staring

in disbelief at the FAX message)

“Job we’re ruined, ruined! (sobbing uncontrollably).

“Never mind, dear, we can still manage somehow.

Material things don’t matter that much when you’re a Christian. At least we’ve still got our wonderful family and lots of fine friends. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Bless the name of the Lord. It’s all right, my pet. (pats her affectionately on the back).

“Job, another FAX message just came in ••• I think that you’ll really need to brace yourself for this one.”

(reads FAX paper aloud) “There’s been a head on collision on the Freeway. The paramedics did everything possible, but it was too late. All your sons and daughters have

been killed. With deepest sympathy Uncle Rubin. (Job collapses with head down on table and moans loudly.) My children, all

my beautiful children ••• dead, all dead. (pause for dramatic effect) I came naked out of my mother’s womb and naked I will return.

(The telephone rings and Job answers it while wife and servants are all ringing their hands, sobbing, and moaning.)

Job: (before picking up receiver) “Well, it must be good news. Lightening couldn’t strike three times in a row could it? Certainly, no more calamities could happen now.”

Doctor: “Hello, is this Job?” (doctor is voice off stage)

Job: “Yes, doctor, what is it?”

4

WHEN JOB LOST HIS PATIENCE

SCENE 2:AcAct 2: Scene 1

Doctor: “I really don’t like giving out bad news like this ••• My lab tests show that you have cancer, Job. I’m sorry, but there isn’t anything that medical science can do for you. You’ll break out in sores and tumors and ••.• (Job hangs up receiver before doctor finishes)

           Job:      “Rachel, sit down dear, there’s something I have

tell you. (wife sits) The doctor just said that I have cancer.”

           Wife:     (lights up a cigarette and speaks sarcastically)

“Fat lot of good it’s done you going to church all these years, Job. Being a Christian isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Look at all the money you gave in tithes. Look at all the Sunday School lessons you taught. Look at all the church board meetings you attended. I’d say you’re God is some sort of cosmic sadist. The only thing to

do now is kick all this Christianity stuff and commit suicide. There’s no hope for you now. Here’s some sleeping pills of mine. It’s better to take these and die now, rather than lie in a hospital bed writhing in agony. (She gets the

pill bottle out of her purse and offers it to Job). Myself, I’m going to call my psychiatrist. My horoscope said that this would be a bad day. That was the understatement of the century!”

            Job:     “Rachel, you’re talking foolishness! Shall we

accept only blessings and miracles from the Lord?

I don’t serve God only when it’s convenient for me. Even though He kills me I’ll still trust in Him. God is like the sun. On a cloudy day you cannot

see it but it’s still there. It’s never gone. I’m in so much pain and turmoil right now that I cannot feel God’s presence, but I know that He must be there somewhere.

SCENE 3: Act 1

(Job is sitting on the ground with his legs crossed while workmen are carrying off tables, chairs, pots, pans, etc. He is covered with red sores and bandages. His large Bible is open at his side. He is moaning in pain, touching his sores. He picks up the Bible, tries to read it, then he puts it down in disgust, shaking his head and looking toward heaven silently praying while his friends show up to the side of the stage. All three

friends clap their hands to their mouths in shock as they

get a glimpse of Job’s condition.)

.

5

WHEN JOB LOST HIS PATIENCE

SCENE 3: Act 1

(Three friends and Elihu enter at the side of the stage. Elihu hangs back and keeps a low profile.)

Zophar: (whispers loudly) “I knew that he was sick with cancer, but I never imagined this. Why you can hardly recognize his face! I don’t know if I can look at him or if I’ll get sick.”

Bi1dad: “It’s our Christian duty to visit the sick. After

all he is a member of our denomination. (shaking Zophar by the shoulder) Just get a grip, Zophar!”

E1iphaz: “I heard someone say after prayer meeting that Job’s wife left him. Did you hear that too?

Bi1dad: “Shhhhhhhhhhhh! Job will hear you.

(Job’s head is hung down in depression).

Bi1dad: “Hi, Job we’ve just flown in from ~ because we heard all the bad news. Our condolences ••• “. (voice trailing off).

E1ipahz: “We’ve just come to encourage in the faith, brother.”

Zophar: “Aren’t you feeling just a tiny bit better?”

Job:      “Feeling better? Feeling better? (indignantly)

I’d feel better if I was pushing up daisies. What was I born for anyway? Just to suffer endless torture in this Vale of Tears? I wish that I could have been a miscarriage and gone straight from womb to tomb with no stops in between. Curse the day that I was born! May my birthday be a black hole in the calendar! You spend nine months trying to get out of the womb and the rest of your life trying to get back in. I might as well be history. My life has no meaning anymore. I’ve seen far too much trouble for one poor man. Is sickness and tragedy the reward I get for being a faithful Christian? I tell you it just isn’t fair. Not fair at all!”

E1iphaz: “Do you mind if I say something at this point, Job?”

Job:       “Yes, I mind.”

6

WHEN JOB LOST HIS PATIENCE

SCENE 3: Act 1

E1iphaz: “Well, I’ll say it anyway. I’m your friend and I’m saying this for your own good, Job. I’m the oldest of your friends and from what I have observed is that you’ve been a man with a social conscience in the past. You’ve started up that church camp for underprivid1eged boys and you’ve opened a soup kitchen for the homeless with your own money. That’s all very commendable work, Job. Very commendable indeed. However, something’s wrong with this picture. A good Christian should not end up in the shape that you’re in now. The Lord laid this Scripture verse on my heart for you, Job — ‘Those that plow evil reap it.’ You are the author of

your own misfortune, Job. God is punishing you for your sins and you should learn from this. The Old Testament says, ‘Do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.’”

            Job:     “Your advice stinks. Look, my family’s been

killed, all my earthly belongings have been repossessed by the bank, and I’ve got cancer eating away at my body. Just who do you think

I am superman? What do you want me to do, put on a plastic smile and pretend everything’s going to be o.k.? And all you can talk about is my sin! With friends like you who needs enemies? Enough is enough I want to die!”

            Bi1dad: “Now, now Job would a real Christian talk that

way? You’re like a one-man hurricane flustering and blustering away like that. I’d like to help you get a historical perspective on all this. Certainly, there have been cases like yours before. There is nothing new under the sun.

God rewards the good and punishes the evil you know. Draw your own conclusions, Job.”

             Job:    “My arms are too short to box with God,

but I certainly would like to have my day in court with Him and argue my case. I’d like

to take my complaint straight to the Almighty Himself, rather than sit here and argue with you three self-righteous fools. No doubt when you fellows die all wisdom and knowledge will vanish with you. You’d better start writing all your “gems of wisdom” down in a book. It would be a shame for you to die and take it all with you to the grave. Honestly, I didn’t believe in evolution until I met you three baboons!”

7

WHEN JOB LOST HIS PATIENCE

SCENE 3: Act 1

Zophar:

Job:

Bildad:

Job:

Zophar:

“That does it Job! I’m going to speak my piece. Your real problem, Job is that you have some secret, unconfused sins in your life. You may be able to hide your sins from us, but you can’t hide them from God. He sees everything, you know. If I were you I’d go right to the alter and repent.”

“Repent? Repent of what? I don’t have anything to confess. I think that you three better go and repent yourselves for sitting in judgment of me! You shouldn’t annoy a sick person.”

“Job, just why are you treating us as if we are the Three Stooges?”

“Because you are.”

“Sarcasm won’t get you anywhere, Job.”

You’re too insolent for me to take

and you won’t even listen when we try to point out your sins to you. I’m not speaking to you any more.”

Bildad and Eliphaz: “We’re not speaking to him either!” (in a huff)

Elihu:

Bildad:

“I’ve been listening to all this bantering now for hours and hours. I didn’t speak up before because I’m the youngest here. However, if I don’t say what’s on my mind, I’ll just blow

up and bust! Obviously big shots are not

always wise and chronological age doesn’t necessarily bring good judgment! You three haven’t answered Job properly. You people have blown it. Job’s problem here is that not only is as guilty as sin, but he is making God out to be the villain! How dare you do that Job! How dare you justify yourself and speak against the Almighty! Blasphemy!” (shaking his fist at Job).

“I’ve had enough of all this arguing. It’s obvious that Job won’t listen to anyone at this point. He made his bed, let him

sleep in it. I’ve got a plane to catch.

Come on Zophar and Eliphaz let’s get out of here. Elihu you might just as well save your breath to cool your porridge.” (all four exit).

8

WHEN J JOB LOST HIS PATIENCE
3: Act 1

Job:

SCENE 4

(Shouts after friends as they exit) “You don’t understand my pain. You’re

not even interested in trying to understand! All you want to do is lay a guilt trip on

me. You’re all ignoramuses spouting proverbs of ashes!”

(Job is sitting alone on the stage weeping, wailing, and rocking back and forth.)

Job:   Oh, God where are you? I feel like you’ve left the receiver off the hook. It feels like I’ve dialed 1-800-GOD and there’s nobody answering. It seemed like when I was happy, prosperous, and on a spiritual mountain top all I had to do was pray and You

welcomed me with open arms. But now, ~, that my need is completely desperate and all hope is lost I feel

that heaven’s doors are slamming in my face and your silence is deafening. The heavens are brass

and my prayers don’t even reach the ceiling. Why, God, why don’t you answer me?

God: (voice from off stage) “Well, Job you’ve got your request. You’ve finally got your day in court with me as the Judge. I’ve heard you saying that I’m unfair to you and that being a Christian doesn’t pay. But I have a bone to pick with you. Have you noticed my handiwork in creation lately? Have you looked at my sunsets which are my signature in the sky every evening? How do you think that the birds know when to fly south for the winter? How does a mother deer know how to care for her new-born fawn? Just why is it that the stars don’t fallout of the sky, Job? Why is it that the sun rises every day faithful as clockwork? Just look at nature and the marvels of my creation — hear my rolling thunder and see my flashing lightening.

Observe my strong four winds, my graceful trees, my tiny humming birds and my gigantic elephants. Isn’t nature enough to impress you with my majesty and power? Do you think that you could run the whole show better than I can? If I can take care of all my creation don’t you think I’m able to take care of one puny little man’s problems?

Job: “I’m sorry that my pain made me so blind to your greatness, God. Lord, now I see your face. I trust you with my soul.”

9

WHEN JOB LOST HIS PATIENCE

SCENE 4

God:

“Your friends, Eliphaz, Zophar, Bildad, and Elihu

have wronged you with their self-righteous judgments, Job. pray for their souls and forgive them.

I will deal with them myself.”

SCENE 5

(Job is having a party with his friends. Stage has a barbeque on it, food, up-beat music is playing, etc. as

before.)

Bildad: “This is a great house you have job. It’s much bigger than the old one. Your new family is amazing. All your sons and daughters are so good looking and intelligent. And did you say that two of your sons were just admitted to law school?”

Eliphaz: “It’s amazing how well your investments are doing, and how your health has come back so strong.

Zophar: “God certainly has certainly blessed you more than ever before. I guess all that suffering was

worth it.”

Job:       “I know that my Redeemer lives regardless of what

life may bring — whether that means hard times

or blessings. Praise the Lord! (He raises hands in worship and his three friends come around him and

hug him.)

THE END

–>

From History Magazine

Published June 2007

“The Defiant Flag Waver”

by Alice L. Luckhardt

Maryland was a border state, located between Pennsylvania and Virginia, so it had a very diverse and divided population in reference to the Southern states breaking from the Union. As word spread of the U.S. flag on display people left their homes and businesses to see it first hand. In the crowd were individuals in support of keeping the flag visible and those in opposition. A roar of hollers, shouts and arguments filled the air, each person trying to be louder than another. Some in the crowd yelled for the flag’s immediate elimination. Collectively, there appeared more people in favor of removal of the flag but Joseph absolutely refused to have the flag touched by anyone.
Leaders within the secession crowd thought they had come up with a solution for the flag‘s removal. They shouted to Joseph that they would have Mr. Poffinberger, a large combatant gentlemen and supporter of secession, come immediately into town from his home on the outskirts of Frederick. With Poffinberger as their leader, they would surely be able to rip the flag down and thrash Mr. Groff within an inch of his life. With such a threat, Joseph did not back down but instead drew closer to the angry crowd so they could see the fire in his eyes and hear his every word. Looking them all directly in the face, eye to eye, Joseph called out, “If any man took that flag down he would have me to whip first and if that man came in to do it, I would meet him.” With those remarks, Joseph turned and walked into his store. The crowd retreated in various directions still talking among themselves and wondering what would this showdown produce.
Joseph waited and prepared himself to do battle. Hours blended into days and Mr. Poffinberger failed to come into town. No further groups gathered to demonstrate against the placement of the U.S. flag. Joseph eventually won out and the flag continued to wave between the two buildings. One man alone stood up for his beliefs and for this large piece of cloth in spite of the threat of personal harm. Frederick appeared to be a bit calmer now in spite of the immediate threat of the nation going to war with itself.

–>

• Insecurity
• Selfishness
• Pride
• An Introvert Personality
• Fear of People
• Overwhelming and dominate personality
• Depression

But whatever the problem is, it needs to be addressed and conquered. You will never have fulfillment in life that you want unless you can achieve strong relationships.

Experiencing things with others is often more enjoyable than experiencing them alone. It is your relationships that add depth to your experiences, gives meaning to your actions, and provides hope for tomorrow.

Friendship is not a separate relationship of its own. But rather, it is the highest evolution of any particular relationship. When neighbors become friends, when employees become friends, when mates become friends, when children become friends, then you will have entered a whole new depth to your relationships.

But how do you make friends?

YOU MUST BE WILLING TO BE FRIENDLY.

This seems like a no-brainer, but, in fact, many people miss this essential point. Don’t wait for someone to befriend you…go and befriend them. Who wants to hang around someone who is unfriendly? No one.

Being friendly means that you take an interest in someone else. Those of you who are waiting for the masses to discover your worthiness are going to be continually disappointed. Take an interest in other people…their needs, their desires, their wants, their hopes and dreams. You’ll find that they return the favor.

Two very rich men lived in a small community. One kept to himself and was a penny pincher. He was never charitable, and never considerate of others. It was his money, he had made it, and no one was taking it from him. The other gave, was very generous, and considerate. No one coming to his house was turned away.

Then a hurricane ripped through the town and succeeded in destroying both of the rich men’s houses. They were completely ruined. Guess which one the townsfolk turned out to help? The friendly one, of course.

It is always difficult to make friends when you are focused on yourself. People are naturally repulsed by a selfish and self-centered person.

There is another group of people that needs to heed this advice: those of you who are recluses, or an introvert, or the quiet type. These in of themselves are not bad, but they will hinder your ability to make friends. When you don’t get involved with other people’s lives they will assume that you want to be left alone, and so they will leave you alone believing that is what you want. You, in turn, get upset because you think that people don’t like you. Well, sweetheart (or big fellow), you are your own worst enemy. Get out there and be friendly!

Many people who are in this category find themselves in a quandary. They want friends, but they are too afraid to introduce themselves, to get involved, and then to make matters worse, others think that they want to be alone, and so leave them alone. It’s a no win situation.

Be friendly. Here are some tips:

1. Try to meet someone else’s needs. Do it in a fun and amusing way.
2. Don’t demand, expect, or hint at repayment for a kind deed.
3. Be open. Don’t be afraid to be hurt. I’d rather love and be hurt than to never love at all.
4. Don’t dominate a situation that you aren’t expected to be the leader. Just sit back and interact. You don’t have to control the conversation or the activity, or have things done a certain way (even if yours is the better one). Just be a participant.
5. Laugh. Laugh at yourself. Poke fun at yourself. People feel at ease around others who don’t take themselves too seriously.
6. Talk about ideas.

Weak Minds Talk About People
Average Minds Talk About Things
Strong Minds Talk About Ideas
- Dr. Jack Hyles

JOIN IN COMMON GOALS

Strive together. Often the strongest bonds are formed by working together. If you think back to a ball team that you once played on, you’ll recall the strong bonds that were formed when you won and lost as a team.

One of the closest friends I ever had was the result of a project that we both worked on for over 3 years. It was a book. We co-authored it (it never got published), but for years, we lived and breathed that book, wrote over 160,000 words, fought over it, brainstormed together, and so forth. We formed a bond that was very strong.

Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty. Volunteer to help someone build an addition to their house, join with them in a hobby, team together to make, build, or produce something. Get involved with common goals.

In counseling, I often find that many married couples struggle because they have no common goals that they are striving together on—nothing to dream about, nothing to hope about together, nothing to strive for together.

Don’t be a spectator to life. Jump on in.

YOU MUST BE WILLING TO LOSE…TO GAIN.

Friendship is the willingness to make sacrifices.

People who make sacrifices for others are never friendless!

Sometimes you must sacrifice in order to gain friends. Again, thinking of yourself is the best way to go friendless in life. Here are a list of things you may need to sacrifice in order to make friends:

1. Your fears
2. Your time
3. Your money
4. Your attention
5. Your love
6. Your work

Making friends can be a simple process if you’re willing to put others ahead of yourself. In turn, this will be reciprocated back to you. You could say it is a natural law, that if you do these three things you’ll make friends.

PEOPLE DON’T CARE HOW MUCH YOU KNOW UNTIL THEY KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CARE!

–>

The above paragraph is an excerpt from the Dawn of Sam Volume 2, written by Cassandra Hall, a contributing editor with RentAGhostWriter.Com. The Dawn of Sam is a comical satire that provides insight into the beginning of outsourcing written work.

How many times have you heard someone complain about having to write a paper, an article, or a speech? Writing “dread” is experienced by thousands of people each and every day around the globe. Many people feel as if they lack the necessary skills to write a well documented report or an interesting Letter to the Editor or attention grabbing content for a personal or business website.

For this very reason outsourcing written work has become increasingly popular. Now, people can find writers, who love what they do, to write anything from web content to press releases. This is a happy situation between the writer and the non-writer.
Thinking along these lines contributing editor, Cassandra Hall, began to write her brainchild The Dawn of Sam.

This is a comical look into the roots of outsourcing written work. Cassandra Hall is an experienced writer who writes newsletters, speeches, lyrics, product reviews and much more. She is a woman who is able to handle many things from various writing projects to checking on goats and chickens after a violent summer storm. To learn more about Cassandra Hall visit the Contributing Editor’s page.

The Dawn of Sam has a lovable main character named Samuel. Samuel begins to figure out that it is easy to trade things in order to get something you need for example a loincloth. If you are confused by the loincloth you have to read The Dawn of Sam: rentaghostwriter.com/blog/category/the-dawn-of-sam-satire.

Take a few moments during the day to read the newest volume of The Dawn of Sam. This is a great way to pass a few enjoyable moments. Take a break from writing, relax and step into Samuel’s life. The Dawn of Sam will have you laughing, thinking and smiling at the way thoughts and ideas unravel in Samuel’s ever-expanding mind.

“This was very upsetting to Samuel! Ruby was considering outsourcing her food acquisition needs to other providers. Was that fair? Was it possible? Fleeting notions of ‘contract’ and ‘legally binding’ flitted through Sam’s head and were gone before he could form solid ideas around them.” Excerpt from The Dawn of Sam Volume 5

–>